when i make a joke to myself and no one’s around to hear it
I owe no allegiance to the Provisional Government established by a minority of the foreign population …. nor to anyone save the will of my people and the welfare of my country.
I spent all of today working on two scholarship applications and a grant proposal… omg i am so tired but hopefully that’s $2k that i get for this summer
To assess the damage is a dangerous act. I think of how, even as a feminist lesbian, I have so wanted to ignore my own homophobia, my own hatred of myself for being queer. I have not wanted to admit that my deepest personal sense of myself has not quite “caught up” with my “woman-identified” politics. I have been afraid to criticize lesbian writers who chose to “skip over” these issues in the name of feminism. In 1979, we talk of “old gay” and “butch and femme” roles as if they were ancient history. We toss them aside as merely patriarchal notions. And yet, the truth of the matter is that I have sometimes taken society’s fear and hatred of lesbians to bed with me. I have sometimes hated my lover for loving me. I have sometimes felt “not woman enough” for her. I have sometimes felt “not man enough.” For a lesbian trying to survive in a heterosexist society, there is no easy way around these emotions. Similarly, in a white dominated world, there is little getting around racism and our own internalization of it. It’s always there, embodied in some one we least expect to rub up against.
You know, they say that there is a part
of the human chest that if you strike it hard enough
the person’s heart explodes. This sounds like such a lie
that I have to believe it’s the truth. If I were science,
I’d never tell anyone where this place is. If I were science,
I’d have named this place after you.
ppl who constantly radiate bad vibes are so exhausting like how are you always so that way